Buying Your Girlfriend A Present? Read This
When she said she needed a sat nav, this was not code for “I want you to buy me one” and definitely not code for “Please blow the whole of my present budget on a piece of kit that necessity would ensure I will at some point buy anyway”.
Shopping for girlfriends can be a minefield. Many of you may think you’re gifting alchemists when birthdays or Christmas falls, but finding the perfect present for your leading lady is harder than you think. Trust me.
I
personally know of more instances than I can count on both hands (and
feet, actually) where either I or friends have been bought presents that
have resulted in:a) False smiles and unspoken fury. This is usually reserved for relationships of under six months.
b) A quick march back to the place of purchase, boyfriend and receipt (hopefully) in tow. Or, worse:
c)
The mother of all arguments. Highlights of which may include lines
like: “You literally don’t know me at all,” “you’ve clearly bought that
for yourself” or, simply “you tight bastard.”
So, let me give you
some tangible examples. In two separate instances friends of mine have
been bought sat navs by their boyfriends. In both cases the boys were
incredibly smug about their presents pre-Christmas, seemingly safe in
the knowledge of guaranteed brownie points due to the fact that their
present was not only thoughtful (given that at some point over the past
year their girlfriends had at least hinted that a sat nav would have been immensely useful
— usually voiced in a stressful situation when the couple were lost and
horribly late for a wedding/ christening/ aunt’s birthday). In both
instances, both guys failed and both girlfriends wound up disappointed.
Why, you ask?In theory the guys should have aced it, right? First of all, they had been attentive and accepted a hint, taken it on board and acted accordingly, gifting something not just desired but also useful. Surely, this was a guaranteed win. Wrong. A sat nav is a perfect example of a gift giving no-no.
Allow me to rationalise this. When the girlfriends in question said they needed a sat nav at some point prior to Christmas, this was not code for “I want you to buy me one” and definitely not code for “Please blow the whole of my present budget on a piece of kit that necessity would ensure I will at some point buy anyway”.
The key point is that when it comes to shopping for women (and I hate to generalise here, but accept as a rough guide) stick to the premise of buying something that she would want something that she’d genuinely desire, rather than something she needs and will therefore traipse down the high street on one rainy saturday morning to joylessly purchase regardless.
Yes, absolutely listen out for hints — I assure you we will pepper nuggets of priceless guidance into conversation here and there. But If in doubt, the fundamental thing is to treat her with something, something that’s potentially too indulgent for her to justify buying herself. The safe zones
- Jewellery. If you're worried about this/ are at an early stage in the relationship, it is perfectly acceptable to seek counsel from her friends. Choose well and she’ll have something nice to wear on posh occasions that’ll make her think of you. Rather than thinking of you when a Sat Nav is driving her insane.
- Perfume. Actually sample a few, decide on something you like (and have a proper reason, “Keira Knightley looked quite hot on a motorbike in the ad” is not acceptable) and be bold. Buy her a brand new fragrance as it is likely that she’s thunderously bored of whatever she’s wearing. And beautiful perfumes are incredibly evocative. This is a good thing.
- Trips. If you’re both busy, anything revolving around the premise of quality time spent together is thoughtful. Particularly if we’ve previously mentioned a desire to visit that place. And it’s not because you’ve always fancied taking in the Milan derby at the San Siro.
Of course, originality is also encouraged. Yes, make your gifts as personal as possible and stay tuned for hints. But just because jewellery and perfume are traditional gifts, it doesn’t make them any less enjoyable to receive. They’re the Girlfriend Gifts 101, but there’s a reason why they’re classics, particularly early on in a relationship. It’s an extension of the flower analogy. Sure, flowers are a tried and tested method of getting onside with your girlfriend (and they probably will spark a moment’s suspicion as to your intentions. Sorry about that), but anything purchased outside of a petrol station will guarantee success.
Final thoughts: be thoughtful, but don’t try and be too clever. You should know her better than almost anyone. Don’t extend yourself beyond your means (anything too grandiose will make us feel uncomfortable) and don’t be scared of being romantic. Stick to these rules and you’re in with a very good chance of a happy girlfriend. Win win, right?